I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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