butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
