He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
