fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
