NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
