wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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