Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Soap is not a condiment
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
