i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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