I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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