Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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