i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
