Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you would pick up someone in the library
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
