i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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