found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
