pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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