dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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