That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
