I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
