I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
