Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
