My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
