idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
