i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
