Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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