How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
