dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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