We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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