once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His hands were made for my vagina.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
