I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize