apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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