You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm having to shit out rocks
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
