I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize