We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
