38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i have herpe
just one?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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