Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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