Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
