the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
