she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
