He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
