we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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