Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
