Nicole vs. Life
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
