He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Green mimosas i think yes
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
