You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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