If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
