so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
