Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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