Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
