The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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