pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
