is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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