Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
