you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
