Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
