I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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