Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
