Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
