I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
