Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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